Valentine's Day

While philosophers and poets much more learned than I have attempted to define love, I will leave that to them and instead ponder on this "day of love". Or so Hallmark, Proflowers, and Kay jewelers would have you believe. It's not that I don't like Valentine's day. I enjoy the color red and all its cousins, and paper doilies and homemade hearts are always fun to see. But the idea of one day in the year for all this outpouring is a bit contrived to me. Personally I would like to see a little outpouring on a daily basis. A kind word, a genuine smile, a spontaneous hug or kiss. Those to me are the real gestures of love. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy chocolate and red roses, but I might enjoy them even more if they were "just because". Of course, there are other ways that love is shown: a cleaned car, a cooked meal, time away by myself, and those are appreciated, too. So, on this day that's marked for love, I'm going to continue showing that daily love and appreciate the ways it's shown to me. Let's all try that and maybe each day could be a bit more love-ly. ♥

Mom

With all the hoopla about this blizzard, the dates have become blurred. But as I stop to ponder, I realize it's been 10 years today since my mother passed. In some ways, 10 years is such a short time: a snap of the fingers, a few extra pounds. But it's also a lifetime, almost 2 in fact; my sons have no memories of Nana, except a few pictures with baby Jacob. That breaks my heart. Mom loved being a Nana to my 2 oldest nephews. She embraced that role just as she did that of mother.

My memories of her are filled with love, humor, and wisdom. When I failed a test, the first one, in college, she came and took me out for ice cream. When my first marriage failed, she held me while I cried, then helped me pack. She would give any of us the shirt (or shoes) she was wearing if we liked them, and tell us how good they looked on us. She was the ultimate Christmas elf, but had trouble keeping a secret when she found us the perfect gift. "I got one of your gifts today. Do you want to know what it is?" She loved having us all together and creating memories and traditions. In many ways, she lived life through the eyes of a child, with the wisdom of an elder.


Now that I'm a mother, I strive to be the kind of mom she was: understanding, funny, and wise. It sure isn't easy, and that's what I hope she knows: that I know how challenging that role can be. That's when I miss her most: when one of the boys does something funny, or awful, and I need her laughter or advice. Then I just have to ask myself what she might say or do, and go from there. I just wish I could still ask her in person. I miss you Mom. And I love you.

A big Loss

It's a hard time of year for many; cold and snow, lack of sunshine, general malaise. Adding to this for me today was the news of someone's passing. He was a former beau, a friend's brother, and husband and father of 3. Though I knew of his illness, it still wasn't easy to hear of his passing. He was 49, which hits many of us closely who are around that same age. He was a good man, and my memories of him involve lots of laughing, joking, and fun.

In the days to follow, as others learn this sad news, there will be grief, anger, and many tears shed. But for now, it's time to pause and reflect on a life, short but well-lived, and the passing of a sweet soul. Rest in peace, Neil. You will be missed.